129 days and why?

Why I even bother?
She's out of my life.
She's moving on.
Why can't I?
The urge to care is overwhelming.
Why bother who doesn't
care about us anymore?
She's happy.
Why I can't be happy like her?
Why I can't be like other people?
It's like nothing happened to her.
Am I weak?
Why am I weak?
Can I blame her?
Should I?

Hate it when it comes.
The memories, I wish I can erase it,
from my heart, from my mind.
I want to be happy.
For now, at the moment, I'm not.

It's already 129 days.
Why I still feel something about her?
Oh God, please rip away this feeling.
If she's not mine.

-hates that i still love you-